aftermath
by mayfairs
Summary: Her memories are too vivid. Nunnally wishes to only remember the good, but it doesn't help to stop the tears, the longing, the sorrow. /ending drabble/


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_Aftermath_

(a simple goodbye)

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* * *

Nunnally tried to swallow the bitter taste in her mouth. It was there haunting her every night, that aching in her throat, and every night, she remembers.

It is her brother's caress that sends her falling to sleep.

Or so she likes to think.

She doesn't need to forget. She knows this. No-one's forcing her to do what she doesn't want to do – part with her brother. He is always there, like he promised. In his smiles, in his gentle tones in speech, everything is like second skin to her. He's everywhere, you just needed to look in the right places.

He is the mask. From her understanding, he moulded this place just for her. That thought never seemed to fail to calm her down when the times really were tough. Every order, every action, whether right or wrong, was to wash over this world and perhaps, start new.

He is in the old uniform he used to wear, back when it all began and she never realised. She often closes her eyes when she touches the old school uniform he used to wear. Luckily, it wasn't hard to recover. His scent still lingers – it will stay like that forever, she hopes.

He is in her dreams. In both a literal sense and an idealistic one. His face would probably always leave a tear in her eye and a stone in her throat, but she tries to accept that. Maybe that's the reason why it isn't often that she dreams of him. Although she does dream of his warm touches, and often questioned them.

Nunnally changed into her sleeping garments quite slowly. The room is still different to her, alien, to what she was used to. Most of the world had moved on, but she hasn't. She also knew that there are several – not many, of course – that remembered the true light of her brother. Sometimes, when she's really emotional, just the sound of his name could cause her tears to run.

Nunnally shivered.

It isn't of the cold or for fear.

Nunnally hesitated before slipping into bed. The covers are comfortable, but they aren't what was on her mind. Her lip wobbles, and her eyes ache, ache for her to give into those tears.

_I'm sorry, brother_

Nunnally curled into a ball as the tears fell and stained the bed. She covered her mouth to not let the little strangles and gasps be heard in the dead of night. Even if it was late, Nunnally could not allow herself to give in. She couldn't.

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_Can't I say a simple goodbye?_

_You cannot._

_Why?_

_Would you be saying goodbye to someone who'll never leave?_

_.  
_

It was another night with Nunnally's pillow soiled with tears, and only when her head grew tired did she give up to sleep.

She dreamed of him.

A smile rises on her face. It is not one of sorrow, or complete, empty enjoy.

While her brother's heart may have stopped beating, while her brother is still hated over his death and his ruling, while her brother's legacy still remind in word of mouth, while he is still dead,

she will remember, because he's still alive.

Alive in her heart.

* * *

This is the product after marathoning Code Geass with my cousins today. I had to watch the ending of R2 again, even though I didn't get to watching R2 again, and really, I don't think I'll ever not cry after seeing it. (I've cried during the other times I watching CG too, even though it was only twice) I'm a total cry baby myself, so yeah. This is pretty much it. Sorry for any errors. I'm not 100% sure that she regains her walking ablity, but I think she did? ;w; This is mainly about Nunnally's relationship with Lelouch afterwards, and there's pretty much nothing about what she did, since I think logically, that would be the least of her worries although it would certainly enter her mind.

I hope everyone can understand what i'm trying to achieve with the past tense and present at the same time. well then, I hope so. if you haven't, drop me a note and I can explain.

Well, I was listening to these songs, so maybe they would be able to get you in the right mood? They're all classical music:

1 Dearly Beloved, Takehiko Yamada

2 The Other Promise, Hiroyuki Nakayama

3 Roxas, Hiroyuki Nakayama

(taken from the Piano Collections Kingdom Hearts)

4 Yoimachigusa, Ikuko Kawai

(from her album, Nature)


End file.
